Humans

August 27, 2010

Humanity is one of my oldest and strongest hatreds. Everything about humans disgusts me.
To better understand my hate for humanity, you must first understand how i see them.

Cancer; any malignant growth or tumor caused by abnormal and uncontrolled cell division; it may spread to other parts of the body through the lymphatic system or the blood stream” – I see humans as a cancer to the Earth.

The Earth has existed for something like 4.5 billion years and Homosapiens (the worst of the human race), only 250,000.
Yet, in these 250,000 years, we’ve managed to nearly deplete all of our natural resources, destroy the atmosphere, fuck with natural selection, cause animals to go extinct, melt ice-caps and so much more.

We started our cancerous reign like any other malignant disease, on the surface. Deforestation and massive-scale urbanisation caused the perfectly weighted balance of C0intake and Oxygen output to tip.

After we did our damage on the surface, we drilled deeper.
We dug holes and filled them with our shit. We filled it with the one-time-use waste that we took from the Earth to begin with. Only, we, being the innovative race we are, made sure that these one-time-use products were just that. After we had discarded them, they would remain in the soil for hundreds of years to come.

We hadn’t yet drilled deep enough though. We dug deeper and deeper to salvage all the coal we could get our hands on. We didn’t bother to think ahead. Instead of starting to think of more efficient, safer ways to produce energy, we continued to burn coal by the tons, daily.

Spewing forth more C02 than the earth could handle. We didn’t really look into it that much back then, but now that we have realised it might cause us to suffer, we have started to ‘care’ about our carbon emissions.

I received a letter from the council saying “Pay us $100 and we will off-put your carbon footprint” – I couldn’t believe people would charge you money to ‘off-put your carbon footprint’ but then I realised there would be people willing to pay this money.
These are the people that started ‘caring’ about the environment when they found out it was dying.

It’s no better than leeching off your dying mother, coming to a realisation that when she dies, you will be homeless and then prolonging her life for as long as possible so that you can reap the benefits.

Quite frankly, it’s pathetic.
The human race is by far the most selfish, ignorant, stupid, arrogant and pathetic race to exist.

When people ask me if I care about the environment, I answer “No”, not because I don’t, but because I see global warming as Earths ‘chemo-therapy’.
It will hurt Earth a bit, but Earth can recover. Where-as humans, being the weak race we are, will simply die out. Unfortunately, like with real chemo-therapy, the good things die too.

It is very likely that the vast majority, if not all, of the animals will die. However, I still see it as a good thing. It allows for the Earth to start again with a clean slate.

I have accepted that I am a cancer to this planet and have accepted my role in destroying it, only to benefit it.

It’s a strange concept to most. It’s strange to the environmentalists because I am for the environment while I destroy it; and it’s strange to everyone else because they can’t grasp the concept of world-wide homicide via the destruction of something that I like.

But it’s simple.
It’s like killing by proxy. I am killing everyone by killing the Earth.
Disagree if you will, but I don’t really care. Because you’re wrong.

Another Rant

August 24, 2010

Modern Art
Is a fucking joke.
I think secretly modern artists know that what they are doing is complete shit but they are thinking “Well hey, if I can get millions for painting a red line. Why not.”
And I support that.
It’s the hipsters that draw a line and then say it represents some kind of social, political or any other major issue.
It doesn’t.
It’s a fucking line.
Here’s an example of modern art:

This is an off-center black dot on a white background.
And here’s what a modern ‘artist’ may call it: “The observable individuality of the unheard populous” and they would further go on to explain “The consuming whiteness of this piece represents the masses where the small black dot is an individual, trying to have his voice heard. He is trying but all he can manage is a small speck. This is life.”
See, it can be deep if it wants to be. But really, it’s a fucking dot.

Also, modern art sculptures.
It just looks like the result of what happens if you let a retard play with metal, glue and nails.
Modern art sucks.

People That Make Shit Awkward By Saying Stupid Shit
A prime example of this is people that constantly say “Did you really?” or “Did you actually say that?” after you describe a situation where you were thinking of something put say it in a way which portrays you actually saying it.
An example would be easier than me explaining. So here’s an example:
Guy: Yeah, she was so rude so i was like “fucking hell, are you for real you old wrinkly bastard”
Maker of Awkward: Did you actually say that? ?
Guy: …What the fuck, of course i didn’t fucking say that you stupid fucking cunt.

Or another example:

Guy: Yeah, you’d better be careful with that pen. Sometimes the tip flies off. You might, like, get stabbed in the eye or something.
Maker of Awkward: Have you actually had that happen?
Guy: ….Fuck you.

As you can see, those questions are annoying, stupid and to be honest, quite pointless. You can only achieve two things from that question; One being awkwardness and the second, a ‘yes’ answer. That’s about it.

Politics and Politicians
Politics; Poli – Latin for ‘many’, tic – a bloodsucking pest.

I don’t give a fuck about politics.
As far as i’m concerned, it’s a bunch of lying old fucks talking about problems that I already know exist.
We all know all of their ‘solutions’ to these problems are going to fall through and never happen.
The only things politicians go through with are things that earn them more money and are stupid and illogical.
I also hate the sacred view they have when it comes to the minds and safety of children and teens.
This relates to things like the ban on all turbo/high powered vehicles in QLD (and most of Australia ?)
I would like to run a test.
Lets put a politician on a road. Put me in a Toyota Swift and then watch me hit him at 80km/hr.
Lets then repeat the test with another politician, only this time, with a turbo/high powered vehicle.
You will notice that both the politicians will die.

If you look at the issue of speeding/hooning in a very minimalistic and simplistic view, then yes. Get rid of fast cars, get rid of speeding. However, life is not simplistic, nor is it minimalistic.
The kids that hoon/speed in their shitty V8 Commodores and then crash and die in a fiery ball of carnage, deserve everything they are getting.

Speed does not kill, being a complete fucking idiot does.
Here is a video which illustrates this.
http://www.youtube.com/v/Gx1CkPcICaY?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999
When kids make the change from their learners license to their provisional license and take the test, they shouldn’t be told how to hold the steering wheel, how to check for traffic and how often too look into their mirrors.People should drive however they feel comfortable (as long as it’s still safe to everyone else of course.)
Instead, they should be taught defensive driving methods to help prevent serious accidents. This would only make sense. For some reason, the government hasn’t caught onto this yet.
Oh, check this segue out. I’m going to go from cars to games. Ready for it? Here it is:

Remember that BMW ad where they got that sporty new car doing donuts and skids in a warehouse looking place, they would then zoom out to reveal the BMW was ‘painting’ on a massive white surface.
It was quite cool, quite classy and it showed the car off.
Well yeah, that ad was banned.
Know why?
Because 2 people complained about it.
Yes, that’s right. Two people.
Democracy is generally about majority rules right?
Well how about this:
98% of the Australian population voted that there be a new 18+ classification introduced to games.
This vote was early this year.
No one has said anything about introducing an 18+ classification yet.

“I think that the best way to handle this is to accept that our current classification system is broken.” – Tony Abbott


Well, No fucking shit Mr. Abbott. 
However, I doubt Tony here is talking about unbanning games like L4D2 (Left 4 Dead 2 for all you noobs), no, much the opposite. If anything, I think Tony Abbott will try and ban as much as possible.
After all, we can’t have the children’s minds being corrupted with this kind of filth.


I played GTA when I was like 8. When you’re at that age, you don’t realise you are shooting innocent people and running over them while running drugs for a mob boss. All you see is getting in fast cars, going vroom vroom and then crashing.


And also, how fucking dumb do they think teenagers are. One of reasons for banning L4D2 is because of the excessive violence that is used on zombies. They claim that these zombies were “Once human, therefore it is unethical” – I’m paraphrasing by the way. It was some stupid shit like that though.
It’s a fucking zombie! I don’t know about you, but I can tell the difference between:

And a regular jack-off.
PETA
Dumbest fucking organisation to exist.
Don’t get me wrong. Their cause is great. ‘People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ – Fantastic.
It’s the way the protest for this cause that gets to me. The only thing they have proven with their protests are how childish and fucking stupid they are.
Firstly, they protest about the stupidest fucking thing.
For example, they got all up in arms because Obama killed an annoying fly during an interview.
There are animals being tortured and seriously mistreated and PETA bitches about a fucking fly?
Okay, the whole “We care about all living things, no matter the size” – again, I understand that. But you have to look at it in perspective. There are real major issues like battery farming and horrible mistreatment of animals in slaughterhouses that they can be protesting for, and raising awareness. Yet, they choose to bitch about a fucking fly.
The way in which they protest, too, is immature and childish.
Here’s an example of one:
Everyone knows that people have the same parts as animals.
That doesn’t stop me from eating animals at all…
In fact, that just makes me want to eat people.
And what the fuck are they doing, using sex to try turn people vegetarian.
If they are going to be controversial, they have to use violence.
They have to show people what goes on in slaughter houses and in battery farms.
If you show people the reality of the conditions the animals live in, it will have a much larger affect on people than just showing some dumb stripper whore with a sign saying “I’d rather go naked than wear fur.”
Stupid motherfuckers.
Well. That was fucking long huh.
End of rant.

Scooters…

August 23, 2010

Scooters…
Oh scooters…

Two shitty rubber wheels attached to a shitty aluminium platform thing, attached to a shitty aluminium handle thing.

What started out as a joke has turned into an ‘extreme sport’.
Instead of trying to come up with a logical and smart rant, I am going to type what I hate about scooters and scooter kids in order of what comes to mind first.

Scooter kids
I hate them. They are aged 6-16 and I hate them all.
Every last one of them.
When I grow up, I can confidently tell my kids that I was a skater. When these 15, 16 year old kids grow up, they will have nothing to tell apart from “I was a scooter-er…” Their kids will laugh at them.

Also, in a previous post I said skating hadn’t gotten any pussy since the 90’s. This is still very much true, but scooting hasn’t gotten any pussy – ever.
Here’s how a conversation may play out:
Girl: Hey, so what hobbies do you have?
Guy: Oh yeah, I like going to the skatepark.
Girl: Oh you skate? Cool
Guy: Nah, I scoot.
Girl: Oh…..

I would rather tell the girl I do nothing but sit on my bed all day eating, drinking and watching videos of people dying. At least I wont be a scooter-er.

Skate Brand Grip Tape on Scooters
Fucking morons. Buying a large sheet of grip tape to cut out a small rectangle and stick it on your piece of shit scooters.
And then you get the shitty ‘BAM’ or ‘Element’ grip tape and stick the logo on your scooter.
All that tells me is that you are double the gay.
I consider faggots with Bam or Element skateboards gay, but you went ahead and stuck it on a scooter. Just wow…

Scooter Tricks
It doesn’t matter what you do. You could do a fucking double backflip for all I care because at the end of the day, you’re doing a double backflip on a scooter. Scooters are fucking gay.
You’re gay for liking and riding scooters.
Scooters aren’t meant for tricks, they are meant to get you from point A to point B while getting as many people to laugh at you as possible.
You know why people laugh? Because scooters are a joke.
People laugh at jokes.

Kids/People That Take Scooting Seriously
The kids at the skatepark that get angry and that swear at their scooter when they don’t land a trick… Chill out. It’s a fucking scooter. You don’t look cool either way. Even if you landed what you were trying to do, I would still have absolutely no respect for you. Swearing just makes you look like more of a faggot for caring about scooting enough to get angry over it.

Scooter Kid Attire
Worse than bikers.
They wear tight, tight fucking pants. But here’s where they differ from bikers. They take it up a notch. They roll their tight, tight pants up into shorts.
That is the single most gayest thing ever.
They also sag their pants, much like bikers, exposing their lovely sweaty underwear to the public.
They have gay shirts, gay pants, gay shoes and gay belts.

Just Other Shit That Annoys Me
They have gay hair styles and gay voices.
They are too small.
They act like tough cunts. e.g
Faggot #1: Oh bro, so i was at this party and i totally got wasted bro
Faggot #2:  Oh true bro, what were you drinking bro?
Faggot #1: I had a few Hahns Light beers bro. Tooootallly wasted. I also like hooked up with this chick like 2300 times bro.
Faggot #2: Wow bro, that’s so chill bro. Bro fist bro.

Fucking faggots.
I hate them.

If I think of anything else, I will be adding to this post…

Kids on the Internet
If you’re under the age of 13 and using the internet, make sure I don’t know about it. There are many reasons for this.
a) When you play counter-strike, your voice fucking annoys me. Stop talking.
b) For some reason, kids seem to think they know everything about everything on the internet.
c) You can’t type properly. if u cdnt rd dat it sed u cnt typ prprly k? kool.
d) Your lack of grammar is almost as bad as your spelling.
e) Your youtube comments are annoying.
f) Your youtube videos are annoying.
g) You are annoying.
Watch the video below for some lulz.
http://www.youtube.com/v/qR-0x9QOWfE?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999
Tear drop tattoos
One that I forgot to add to the tattoos of douchery. The tear drop tattoo. What the fuck is a tear drop tattoo meant to show? That you are always crying? That you are sensitive? That you’re a faggot?
Lil’ Wayne popularised this stupid fad. He’s a faggot. Tear drop tattoos are fucking dumb.
And you’re fucking dumb if you want one.



The Southern Cross
I understand the southern cross represents Australia. I know we are living in Australia. There is no need for you to put a southern cross sticker on your car. More often than not, that car is a Japanese car too.
Worse than a sticker is the douche bags that tattoo the southern cross to them. When I see someone with a southern cross tattoo, I can almost instantly come to the conclusion that the person is a fucking moron.

People That Take Shopping Trolleys Through The 12 Items Or Less Check-Out
I may understand a bit more if you’ve got almost 12 items and they are fairly large or heavy, but if you have a bottle of coke and a lasagne, you don’t need a fucking trolly. You don’t even need a basket. Stop being an annoying fuck.
Repeat offenders are usually old people and asians.
Old people shouldn’t be alive and asians should stop being so oblivious to everything that’s going on around them.

People That Shoot and Then Knife You on Counter-strike
Pussy cocksuckers. If you’re going to knife me and steal a level from me, do it with fucking dignity. Shooting me down to 30 health and then stabbing me is a ball-less move. While i’m on the topic of counter-strike. I fucking hate campers too.
“Oh hurr derrr. Lets sit in a fucking corner all day and wait for that one guy that’s running around the map looking for me to pop out so I can kill him.” – Campers are pussies. It’s not real life, if you die, you respawn. Stop sitting in a fucking corner.
And then you have those that camp and then stab you in the back (For those that don’t play, a back-stab is a one hit kill). If I was playing at an internet café and a douche-bag sitting next to me pulled some shit like that, I would slap the camper out of him.
Oh and one more thing. The AWP. Most useless fucking gun.
It’s a one hit kill sniper but I have to stand perfectly still for it to be of any use otherwise it just fires off in some random fucking direction. Goddamn AWPs….

Phew, that got me riled up. That’s enough nerd-rage for one rant.

So there’s this kid. His name is Adolf Hitler.
That kid has parents. His parents decided to name him Adolf Hitler.
Cake companies refused to make him a personalised cake saying “Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler” and now the parents are having a cry.

“Other kids get their cake. I get a hard time,” he said. “It’s not fair to my children.’ – Mr. Campbell

What’s not fair is you being alive.
What’s not fair is, that kid will now have the most awkward time during history class when they discuss WWII.
What’s not fair is that the kid will be automatically labelled a racist by his peers and teachers because of the stupid fucking name that his parents chose for him.
What’s not fair is that i’m hungry and I could really go for a cake but can’t find any.
That’s unfair.
But life’s unfair so what you do is: you go on the internet, start a blog, bitch and hope that someone reads it.

Back to this kid though.
Adolf Hitler Campbell.
I hope he grows up to not be a douche bag.
But he will be, so I hate him in advance.

That is all…

What Do I Hate Today?

August 9, 2010

Not much, but enough for me to bitch some more.

Crying Babies in Public Places

“Oh hi, i’m a baby. Watch me cry really loud for no apparent reason whatsoever, other than to piss you, and everyone else surrounding me, off”.

So, I was getting on a bus and I saw a mother with her kid. The kid was quiet so I didn’t really have problems with it. I noticed the mother kept bouncing the baby up and down. Now, I understand the baby might enjoy this, or if the baby was upset, this might calm the baby down but the baby did not look like he was enjoying it at all. She should have just put the baby in its pram and left it alone. But she didn’t, and it started crying. At that point, everyone surrounding her thought the same thing, “…fuck.” So to counteract the crying baby, I turned my music up. A lot. Problem solved.

People Telling Me To Turn My Music Down
“Excuse me, can you turn your music down?” “Oh sorry, I didn’t realise that you were trying to listen to the ambient noises of the bus ride. Including, but not limited to the bus engine, the loud people on phones, the loud people talking to each other and crying babies. I really hope the light ‘tap tap’ coming from my headphones hasn’t ruined your bus riding experience.

Lisps
Lisps are fucking annoying. “Lithp” – Speak properly you stupid faggots.

Guys That Do Shit To Get Chicks
Like taking skateboards wherever they go. Skating hasn’t gotten any pussy since the 90’s. Now the majority of skaters are annoying faggots like you that are just trying to get chicks to notice them.
Skating isn’t sexy, especially when you can’t do it.
Not just skating either. I mean anything. Like those guys that act obnoxiously loud in attempts to look ‘cool’ in front of girls. Being loud and obnoxious makes you look loud and obnoxious. Shut the fuck up.

Metro Kids
These are the ones that dress like homos and spend more time taking care of their skin and hair than most girls. Yet, they claim they are straight.
Fluro coloured shirts are not cool.
Tight, white denim shorts are not cool.
Fluro thongs are not cool.
Ridiculously large v-necks are not cool.
Looking like a faggot is not cool.
You are not cool. Fuck you.

Headaches
I’ve had one for two days. It’s fucking annoying. It’s such a minor pain, yet it’s so incapacitating. 

Tattoos of douchery

August 7, 2010


The Dragouche


99% of the time, this tattoo is found on Caucasian males. This tattoo has no significance and if it does, you are probably still a douche for letting a dragon signify something important enough to tattoo onto your body.
The Tribal Armband
This is tattoo has world-wide recognition for being the douchiest thing to get tattood onto your bicept. If you think it’s cool. You my friend, are a douche. And you’re not my friend. In fact, you’re quite the opposite.
Anything Else Tribal
You may think it looks cool, but it doesn’t. You’re an idiot and a douche if you want this tattoo.

Your Name
Because you know… You might forget your name or something… Douche.
A Rose

A rose can mean a lot of things. A tribal rose, a rose infused with barbed-wire or, as shown above, a rose with a skull, is absolutely, not even close, to being almost cool. It’s extremely douchey and it pretty much says “Hey look, i’m tough but i like roses.” – Which means you’re a douchefag.

A Dolphin

What’s cooler than having a dolphin tattoo, you ask? Almost everything…

Some Other Kind Of Faggot Sea Creature

Marine life is not cool. End of story.

A Movie

For the love of god, no.
Just no.


A Band

“This band is so cool, i’m going to tattoo them to my arm”. Five years later… “Fuck…”
Band tattoos are as bad, if not worse than movie tattoos. It shows your complete lack of maturity and judgement and not to mention, your douchery.

 A Bunch Of Scribbles and Shit

I don’t care if he did cut his ears off. Look at his tattoos! Fucking squiggles and stars. It looks like he let a 5 year old with a crayon go crazy on him. Except, instead of a crayon, it was a tattoo gun.

Spider Webs

Spiderweb tattoos are gay. The only time spiderwebs are cool is when spiders make them. Otherwise, they are gay. You are gay for liking spiderweb tattoos.

Faggy Star Things

Gaaay!
Next!

Tramp Stamps

Nothing says “tasteless whore” quite like a tramp stamp.
I’m sure there are girls that still think they are cool too. Which is sad. They aren’t. They are ugly and shit.

Japanese/Chinese Writing

Again, 99.99% of people with oriental characters tattooed to them are Caucasian. Just because English is a shitty looking language doesn’t mean you go around getting random characters of a different language tattooed onto you. Stop being a douche bag. 

Ugly people are ugly

August 6, 2010

Today, as I glared into the distance in front of me, I noticed something. We are surrounded by ugly people. Ugly people, and fat people. And to make it worse, those two are common traits of one-another.

Fat people are bad enough, but add ugly to the mixture. My god. Even if they lost that weight, they would still be undesirable to society.
There is one, and only one (okay, maybe two) fool-proof methods to fix this.

Method 1: When a fat, ugly mother gives birth to a child, we take no chances. Immediately neuter the child.
If the baby grows up to become amazingly attractive or handsome, it doesn’t matter. That’s what the person gets for having ugly fat parents.

Method 2: Gather up as many fat, ugly people as you can possibly find. Stick them in a room and then gas them. Fat people have a lot of skin, we can use that skin to replace leather. Think about it, I would much rather say “My shoes are made of man” than say “I have leather shoes”, wouldn’t you?

So the moral of this, I guess, is: Don’t be fat or ugly, and if you’re one or both, don’t breed. And if you’re neither, be grateful for the fact that you are not ugly.
(and call me)

Another day, another bunch of assholes.
This time, i’ve got beef with:

Business People
Your jokes suck, you’re rude, loud and wear stupid clothes. Wearing a suit doesn’t mean you’re well dressed. Pink dotted ties do not work with anything. Burn it. Better yet, hang yourself with it.

Shitty Service
I’m hungry. I want to be seated, given a menu and then have my order taken within 5 minutes. I can even live without being seated because 9/10 times, they seat me right next to a table full of annoying fucks (i.e Business People). I hate waiting forever for them to realise I am ready to order but then if I wave at them, I become no better than those annoying corporate assholes.

Shitty Food
What’s worse than waiting 20 minutes to be served? Waiting 40 minutes for shitty ass food. Usually, in 40 minutes, one can build up quite an appetite. An appetite which makes pretty much anything taste good. Not in this case.
The pizza sucked. Fuck you random cafe.

Shitty Questions
Ever get those questions that are just worded so poorly, it makes you want to cry and shoot the person that wrote it? Well I do. I get them a lot. They fucking suck. I have to sit down and analyse the question word-for-word until I understand what it means. And even then, I still don’t quite understand what the author was trying to ask me.

Studying
Fuck studying.

School kids
I was waiting at the bus-stop, patiently, when a huge fucking hoard of stupid school kids stampeded past me. They are loud, annoying and they smell.
They have stupid uniforms and they look like douche bags. They listen to their shitty music on their shitty phones in massively crowded places.
They push onto the bus, making me miss it. I fucking hate school kids.

Public transport
Hey, here’s an idea. You know how the 130 is always full from about 3:10 to about 4:00PM? Here’s an idea. Instead of just, you know, not doing anything. Why not send a few more buses out? This will fix two problems I have with public transport.
Problem 1 – Crowded buses.
Problem 2 – Crowded buses full of shitty ass school kids.
And for fucks sake, I understand the concept of “Stand behind the yellow line” – I will not jump out in front of the bus if i step over the yellow line. I am perfectly able of walking two or three steps over the yellow line.

Bus drivers
Just because you guys are stuck in buses full of shitty ass kids, doesn’t mean you can take your anger out on the greater percentage of the population. Just because you have a shitty job, shitty pay and a receding hairline doesn’t mean you can just kick me off a fucking bus. I fought long and hard to get onto that bus. I might’ve been slightly less late to work if it hadn’t have been for you.

People in wheelchairs
Don’t get on fucking public transport!
Here’s a message to old fucks in wheelchairs. Stay at home until you rot and die. You are useless in the eyes of society and no one wants you. If you think I feel sorry for you, I don’t. You can’t walk because you’re too old. You’re too old because you keep prolonging your life with the marvels of modern medicine. Here’s some advice: Find a busy highway and stroll onto it. Make sure you get hit. Make sure you die. If you’re still alive, for whatever reason, jump off a building and make sure you hit the ground with your head first. I want your old grandpa brains splattered all over the ground.

Work
No one likes work.
I was running late to work and received a call. I told them I was held back and was on my way as we spoke. They said “Okay cool, see you soon”. I apologised and hung up. Not more than 5 minutes later, they called again asking if i was coming in. You know, you can call every fucking second but it’s not going to make me get there any quicker. Fuck you work. Fuck you.

Kids in general
School kids are bad enough, but your regular kids. My god, they are awful. They always seem to find the best spot to have a cry at as well. Say for example, you’re in a shopping mall, sipping on a lovely $4 cup of Iced Coffee. Oh, what’s that? Just a crying kid sitting next to me asking for his mama. Your mama is right fucking next to you, what are you doing crying. Stop fucking crying and be a man.