The Police

October 22, 2010

I’m surprised I haven’t talked about them yet.
I fucking hate police.
Not only do they not “make the laws” but they don’t enforce them either.
I read in the paper that the police want to go on strike because they aren’t paid enough. I say let them.
We would be better off without those fucking pigs.
All they do is catch kids skating in public and give drivers speeding tickets.
I’ve already ranted about how speed cameras don’t do anything but annoy the living shit out of drivers, but yeah. This is about cops.
Now back to this story of mine.
So, I had to skate to work because I was catching the bus and god knows I can’t walk.
Anyway, this is after work. I just finished working and i’m throwing a trolly full of rubbish away in the compacter.
I make my way back up to my car and I notice a police car driving along the crossing. The car slows down so I walk behind it so i can cross the road, right? Yeah, well this cop rolls down his window and gives me this dickhead, cocky “Hey” so i respond with a nod, “Where ya off to?” says the cop, “My car”, “Huh?”, “My car”, “Huh?” “My car” I’m now getting agitated. “Your car?”, “Yeah..”, “What’ you been doin’?”, “Working…”, “Righteo.” Cop rolls his window up and drives off.

Why does this anger me?
Because of the tone of arrogance and interrogation that he had in his voice. It also angers me because if i looked more like a faggot, he wouldn’t have questioned me. But no, because i wore all black and had a skateboard, I’m automatically a suspected criminal. Discrimination.
Ain’t it a bitch.

While these assholes are interrogating me, there’s probably some crack whore selling her pussy for a can of beans around the corner and these cops won’t do a thing to change that. Know why? Because they’re too busy asking some skater kid what he’s been doing.

You know what else irritates me?
People that swear too much.
I swear excessively, but there are people that just swear too much.
Example of what i mean: “Ah fuck, so ya got any fuckin’ plans for the weekend? Gonna get fuckin’ smashed like a crazy cunt or what?”
That kind of talk is annoying as all fuck.
Swearing doesn’t make you sound tough or cool at all. It’s just vulgar expressions.

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Youtube Comments

October 16, 2010

These type of comments:

(Note: 786 people ‘disliked’ the video)
Edit: This one too:

Fucking hate those RWJ fanboy faggots. Stop repeating everything he says! Fucksake, not everything he says needs to be a meme. In fact, nothing he says should be a meme. Two camels in a tiny car is not funny. Fake and gay is not funny. RWJ is not funny.
Fucking 13 year old youtube fagboys.

There are so many of them.
And they are always so stupid.

The first time I saw that first one, I thought it was kind of clever…
And then I saw it again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

And as for the second one, I hate it.
“HYRUURRR THUMBS UP BECAUSE I’M A FAGGOT!!!”

Fats On A Plane

October 9, 2010

After close to 28 hours of transit, I am back in Australia…Sadly.
The main and longest flight was the one I was most dreading. 14 hours of sitting in shitty economy seating was just something that I couldn’t get myself to look forward to. Not to mention the 8 hour wait between my connecting flights.
Anyway, 7 hours later and the airport is now starting to fill up with the L.A to Brisbane plane passengers.
I become hopeful.
The vast majority of the passengers are people aged 15-30. I even talked to one cool bearded guy while waiting. He was cool… And had a beard.
“These 14 hours may not be so bad after all” Is what I foolishly thought to myself.
After a long, long wait, I finally boarded the plane and walked down the aisle to find my seat.
I passed many of the young people, including the cool bearded guy. On this walk down the aisle, I joyously thought “Oh, I wonder who I will sit next to!”
Soon after, I found my seat.
I was seated next to a fucking beast. She was fat, disgusting and over 40.

“Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” – Snakes meaning fat people of course.


After that flight experience, I have concluded that if you’re going to be alive and fat at the same time, you are not allowed on a plane. Or a bus, or just out in general.

This fat bitches arm took up the entire arm rest and more, forcing me to curl up into myself, and trust me, curling up into yourself is comfortable for the first 2 seconds of the flight.
I wanted so badly to put my arm on the arm rest but the fucker wouldn’t move her arm. 
I even tried to subtly hint to her that I wanted to rest my arm by putting my elbow in the tiny gap between her elbow and the back of the seat.
Needless to say, her stupid fat-ass didn’t do anything about it.

Her leg also kept touching mine. Her elbow kept touching me. Her arm kept touching me. She kept looking over at me every time I fidgeted to try find a better position.
I was seriously contemplating stabbing her with the plastic forks they gave us for dinner.
I came quite close to elbowing her too.
Luckily, I remembered the sleeping pills I had packed.
I picked them out of the bag and tried to pop them out of some ridiculous ultra-strength foil. I ended up crushing 3 pills.

At this stage, I was ready to slaughter some babies, cover myself in their blood and roll around on the ground screaming incoherent rubbish. Because of the sheer mass of the thing next to me, I was confined to my economy seat.
I had to keep my elbows inside the small space at all times to avoid contact with her.
This got very, very uncomfortable and I started getting claustrophobic.
Claustrophobia is not the best thing to get in the first hour of a 14 hour flight.
Anyway, back to the pills. I wondered if there was some special way of opening these super-strength foil pills. I read the back and it said I had to cut it with scissors.
Now what kind of cruel asshole would sell this shit at airports.
They know we can’t take scissors on planes!
They know this!
I had to resort to biting at the packaging and eventually tearing through the paper/cardboard/aluminium hybrid combination to get to the pill.
2 pills and a few minutes later I fell asleep and woke up with 3 hours of the flight remaining.

I was happy for a brief moment.
It was now breakfast time and I noticed the fat shit next to me eating.
It disgusted me. She asked for a coke and waffles.
Coke and waffles for breakfast.
What the fuck man, what the fuck.

Goddamn it. Stupid fat fuck.