1. If you have an ugly hair-cut, get a better one.

2. If you have glasses, get rid of them.

3. If you have braces, get rid of them.

4. If you have bad skin, fix it.

5. If you have a personality, lose it.

6. If you have brains, stop being smart.

Follow this guide, and you will be the most popular, attractive and just all around awesome girl there is… According to almost every hollywood ‘transformation’ movie, that is.

I really don’t think it’s as easy it seems.

Step one, for example; If you’re getting a shit hair-cut, it’s obviously not on purpose. You’re not trying to make yourself look shit. It’s just how it is. Getting rid of glasses isn’t that easy either. Sure, you can get contacts but they cost a fortune and to some, are impractical.

I also don’t know why ‘geek’ girls in movies always wear the biggest rimmed glasses they can find. Wearing glasses can be found attractive by a lot of people. Just get a nice pair of Versace frames or something and you’re set. Not only have you kept your glasses, but also look good.

I particularly like the third step. When a girl in the movie has braces and she just gets rid of them because she wants to look better. No one has braces as a fashion statement. It’s not something you can just ‘get rid of’.

Another thing I like is the transformation from acne-ridden skin to absolutely flawless skin. It’s all just so simple in the movies, isn’t it.

Well, that’s about all I had to share.

Enjoy listening to the awesome music suggestions I gave.

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LAAAAAAAAG

December 30, 2010

I’ve been playing Call of Duty: Black Ops a lot recently and there has been one thing that’s been pissing me off immensely. It’s the fucking lag!

I don’t think i’ve been in a game where i’ve gotten better than two bars, and thats out of 5.

To illustrate why this may be frustrating, I have drawn a lovely picture.

Now, this first picture is what I see:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awesome, right? There’s no way that won’t be a headshot so i empty a clip into that guys face however, I end up dying. I scream and shout, yelling “WHYYYYY GOD!! WHYYY” and then I watch the killcam.

Here’s what the above looks like to everyone else:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not only do i look like a complete noob that’s shooting everywhere for no reason, but i also get killed.

For the first few deaths, maybe even rounds, it’s bearable but when you’re on the top of the leaderboard and you just need a couple more kills to win the round but you just can’t because of the bullet lag, it’s pretty fucking annoying.

Freedom of Religion

December 13, 2010

In Australia, the constitution states that:

The Commonwealth of Australia shall not make any law establishing any religion, or for imposing any religious observance, or for prohibiting the free exercise of any religion, and no religious test shall be required as a qualification for any office or public trust under the Commonwealth.”

However, freedom of religion should delve deeper than the governmental body and should affect all citizens of Australia (and any other country practicing freedom of religion).

Freedom of religion should give, not only religious people, but non-religious people the right to live their lives as they please.

Religion should not be forced upon anyone, whether the force is subtle or not. Whether it be Jehovah’s witnesses, Mormons, Muslims, Jews or Atheists, their views should be theirs, and theirs alone. I have no problem withyo any religion and anyone that follows a religion. I simply don’t want to hear about it.

If you knock on my door at 9 in the morning to talk to me about god and Jesus, I will say “Fuck god and fuck Jesus”, if you tell me Allah is the one true god and Mohammad, his messenger, I will say “Fuck Allah and fuck Mohammad”, If you find it disrespectful, understand that I find it disrespectful for you to go around spreading your religion.

A personal belief is personal, just like an opinion. You don’t knock on peoples doors telling them and trying to convince them that Oranges are better than Apples. Some people think so, some don’t and most just don’t give a fuck.

For you religious people that are raging at the moment, let me put it this way.

What do you think god would rather have:

  • A bunch of morons that don’t understand the religion worshipping him like the blind sheep that they are or,
  • Living their lives as honestly and best as they can.

There is no point in arguing who is the real god and which religion is true. There will never be an agreement.

In the song ‘Imagine’ by John Lennon, he speaks of a world without religion and how blissful it would be. I think that it’s wrong to say that if you eradicate religion, there will be peace. If however, all religions didn’t care about each other, minded their own business and respected the customs and traditions of every other religion, then and only then would we have true peace.

Music

November 2, 2010

Deathcore, Metalcore, most Grindcore and basically every other core you can think of are all essentially the same. Teenage faggots in tight jeans that weren’t cool enough, or skilled enough to play real metal so they play their pussy music.

All of these core bands are trying to the same thing and that’s to be ‘heavier’ or more ‘brutal’ than the last band. These faggots don’t understand that real music isn’t just a blast beat and some shitty harmonised sweep with godawful grunts and annoying as shit ‘screams’. Real music should not only be heard, but felt too.

Core music, from what i’ve heard, is completely emotionless, robotic and monotonous. Like I said earlier, all it is, is a blast beat with some shitty harmonised guitar riff that people may deem ‘technical’ and some shitty vocals.

Guitar wanking over a blast beat can only get you so far in music.
Sadly, that satisfies a large amount of people.

The thing that pisses me off so much about core music is that it’s fake.
Fake and shallow, like the common whores you see walking around the city.
Sure, some look good but that’s all they’ve got, looks. There is nothing more to them.

Any idiot can yell about how angry they are and how everything should die, but what use is it if they don’t really feel that way. What’s the point of making music that you don’t believe in.

Some may argue that music is just entertainment, but they would be wrong. It’s not just entertainment. It’s an art. Imagine if Munch painted The Scream in a more extreme style of cubism because he wanted to be more obscure than Picasso. Imagine if he painted it as a detailed portrait because that’s what Da Vinci did, and had great success with. And look at Picasso, his art is obscure and sure, some people say it looks like shit but the fact is, it’s different and he can truly call it his own.

Cubism also reflects well on music quality.
Picasso moved completely away from the regular portrait style paintings and went on a more peculiar path where he purposely obscured his art. He showed how in obscurity, there can be a masterpiece.

I would much rather listen to the low-fi, fuzziness of Xasthur than some bullshit $2000 an hour recording studio core song.
Xasthur has more genuine hate than every core band put together.

Here is a lyrical extract from two different songs:


Prison of Mirrors – Xasthur


The prison of mirrors… we can’t see, 
Yet trapped we are… by its reflection, 
It sees all fear and watches our downfall, 
It will rip all lies and pride from the soul. 


Unbreakable – Veil Of Maya


I hear them calling,
the damned are calling
from this hell on Earth.


Their voices flooding my ears,
I hear them calling,
their voices flooding my ears
from this hell on Earth.


Lyrically, they are quite similar. Nothing special in either song. 
And now listen to each of them.







Unbreakable – Veil Of Maya

http://www.youtube.com/v/7PzZ168IdDQ?fs=1&hl=en_US







Prison of Mirrors – Xasthur

http://www.youtube.com/v/4DDRIfd0QYs?fs=1&hl=en_US



If you think Unbreakable is a great song, get the fuck off my blog and never return.

The Police

October 22, 2010

I’m surprised I haven’t talked about them yet.
I fucking hate police.
Not only do they not “make the laws” but they don’t enforce them either.
I read in the paper that the police want to go on strike because they aren’t paid enough. I say let them.
We would be better off without those fucking pigs.
All they do is catch kids skating in public and give drivers speeding tickets.
I’ve already ranted about how speed cameras don’t do anything but annoy the living shit out of drivers, but yeah. This is about cops.
Now back to this story of mine.
So, I had to skate to work because I was catching the bus and god knows I can’t walk.
Anyway, this is after work. I just finished working and i’m throwing a trolly full of rubbish away in the compacter.
I make my way back up to my car and I notice a police car driving along the crossing. The car slows down so I walk behind it so i can cross the road, right? Yeah, well this cop rolls down his window and gives me this dickhead, cocky “Hey” so i respond with a nod, “Where ya off to?” says the cop, “My car”, “Huh?”, “My car”, “Huh?” “My car” I’m now getting agitated. “Your car?”, “Yeah..”, “What’ you been doin’?”, “Working…”, “Righteo.” Cop rolls his window up and drives off.

Why does this anger me?
Because of the tone of arrogance and interrogation that he had in his voice. It also angers me because if i looked more like a faggot, he wouldn’t have questioned me. But no, because i wore all black and had a skateboard, I’m automatically a suspected criminal. Discrimination.
Ain’t it a bitch.

While these assholes are interrogating me, there’s probably some crack whore selling her pussy for a can of beans around the corner and these cops won’t do a thing to change that. Know why? Because they’re too busy asking some skater kid what he’s been doing.

You know what else irritates me?
People that swear too much.
I swear excessively, but there are people that just swear too much.
Example of what i mean: “Ah fuck, so ya got any fuckin’ plans for the weekend? Gonna get fuckin’ smashed like a crazy cunt or what?”
That kind of talk is annoying as all fuck.
Swearing doesn’t make you sound tough or cool at all. It’s just vulgar expressions.

Youtube Comments

October 16, 2010

These type of comments:

(Note: 786 people ‘disliked’ the video)
Edit: This one too:

Fucking hate those RWJ fanboy faggots. Stop repeating everything he says! Fucksake, not everything he says needs to be a meme. In fact, nothing he says should be a meme. Two camels in a tiny car is not funny. Fake and gay is not funny. RWJ is not funny.
Fucking 13 year old youtube fagboys.

There are so many of them.
And they are always so stupid.

The first time I saw that first one, I thought it was kind of clever…
And then I saw it again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

And as for the second one, I hate it.
“HYRUURRR THUMBS UP BECAUSE I’M A FAGGOT!!!”

Fats On A Plane

October 9, 2010

After close to 28 hours of transit, I am back in Australia…Sadly.
The main and longest flight was the one I was most dreading. 14 hours of sitting in shitty economy seating was just something that I couldn’t get myself to look forward to. Not to mention the 8 hour wait between my connecting flights.
Anyway, 7 hours later and the airport is now starting to fill up with the L.A to Brisbane plane passengers.
I become hopeful.
The vast majority of the passengers are people aged 15-30. I even talked to one cool bearded guy while waiting. He was cool… And had a beard.
“These 14 hours may not be so bad after all” Is what I foolishly thought to myself.
After a long, long wait, I finally boarded the plane and walked down the aisle to find my seat.
I passed many of the young people, including the cool bearded guy. On this walk down the aisle, I joyously thought “Oh, I wonder who I will sit next to!”
Soon after, I found my seat.
I was seated next to a fucking beast. She was fat, disgusting and over 40.

“Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” – Snakes meaning fat people of course.


After that flight experience, I have concluded that if you’re going to be alive and fat at the same time, you are not allowed on a plane. Or a bus, or just out in general.

This fat bitches arm took up the entire arm rest and more, forcing me to curl up into myself, and trust me, curling up into yourself is comfortable for the first 2 seconds of the flight.
I wanted so badly to put my arm on the arm rest but the fucker wouldn’t move her arm. 
I even tried to subtly hint to her that I wanted to rest my arm by putting my elbow in the tiny gap between her elbow and the back of the seat.
Needless to say, her stupid fat-ass didn’t do anything about it.

Her leg also kept touching mine. Her elbow kept touching me. Her arm kept touching me. She kept looking over at me every time I fidgeted to try find a better position.
I was seriously contemplating stabbing her with the plastic forks they gave us for dinner.
I came quite close to elbowing her too.
Luckily, I remembered the sleeping pills I had packed.
I picked them out of the bag and tried to pop them out of some ridiculous ultra-strength foil. I ended up crushing 3 pills.

At this stage, I was ready to slaughter some babies, cover myself in their blood and roll around on the ground screaming incoherent rubbish. Because of the sheer mass of the thing next to me, I was confined to my economy seat.
I had to keep my elbows inside the small space at all times to avoid contact with her.
This got very, very uncomfortable and I started getting claustrophobic.
Claustrophobia is not the best thing to get in the first hour of a 14 hour flight.
Anyway, back to the pills. I wondered if there was some special way of opening these super-strength foil pills. I read the back and it said I had to cut it with scissors.
Now what kind of cruel asshole would sell this shit at airports.
They know we can’t take scissors on planes!
They know this!
I had to resort to biting at the packaging and eventually tearing through the paper/cardboard/aluminium hybrid combination to get to the pill.
2 pills and a few minutes later I fell asleep and woke up with 3 hours of the flight remaining.

I was happy for a brief moment.
It was now breakfast time and I noticed the fat shit next to me eating.
It disgusted me. She asked for a coke and waffles.
Coke and waffles for breakfast.
What the fuck man, what the fuck.

Goddamn it. Stupid fat fuck.

3D

September 17, 2010

I had never tried 3D TV/Movies but I hated the idea of it. It seemed stupid.
I finally got around to checking out what all the hype was about, and boy let me tell you, my opinion has not changed at all.
I fucking hate 3D. It’s stupid. It fucks with my depth perception, makes me feel woozy and gives me a headache after a while.
And also the whole ‘wear these stupid fucking glasses every time you want to watch anything in 3D” is stupid. I really thought everyone would’ve ditched the idea, seeing as it came out in like… you know… the 50’s.
All they really did was get rid of the shitty anaglyph system and replace it with the shitty stereoscopic.

The Public

September 10, 2010

Being Blocked On a Walkway
I’m skating down a path, trying to over take these old fucks but they are walking in such a way that they leave no room to pass them. They are walking at about half a metre per second and being old.
“Hurrpy fucking derrr, I hear a skateboard behind me but I wont move because i’m old and think I have elevated privileges. The kid behind me can just go around. Oh but wait, i’m going to pair up with my buddy and stand, slightly seperated, in the middle of the pathway to make sure no one can get around without making it extremely awkward. Watch me walk down the middle of the pathway.”

And then when I do end up passing them, they give me that look that says “Damn kids, these days!”
Sure, there’s a sign that says I can’t skate down that walkway, but what would be the difference if I was walking. They would still be blocking the path.

Another thing I hate is when people travel in swarms. All their stupid fucking friends all walking in one big cluster which takes up the entire walkway with absolutely no way to get around. The only way to get around is either going onto the road or just barging through the dumb fucks.
You barge through them and they look at you like you’re rude, but you know what. Fuck them. That’s what they get for walking with all their friends in a big wall like structure.

The Concept of ‘Eavesdropping’ 
It’s not eavesdropping if you’re fucking yelling your conversation.
I mean really.
The person you’re talking to is next to you, you don’t need to fucking yell.
When I say “can you shut up?”, you don’t reply with “stop eavesdropping.”
Eavesdropping would mean I actually give a fuck about what you’re talking about.
But I really don’t. I just don’t want to hear your stupid fucking voice talking about something completely irrelevant to my interests.
Speaking of irrelevance to interests, some people need to learn body language.
As I was gazing into nothingness, I couldn’t help but hear this one guys voice. Constantly, going on and on about some shit. I looked up at him and noticed he was talking to some girl.
The girl not only refused to make eye contact with him but she also sat a seat away from him. This guy was laughing at his own jokes and the girl was trying to avoid replying to him.
I could feel the awkwardness from where I was sitting.
Some people need to realise when:
a) They are not funny.
b) When the person they’re talking to just doesn’t give a shit.
c) When to shut the fuck up.


Having Opinions Questioned
“Ew, why do you like this music. All it is, is people yelling and beating their instruments.”
If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I would probably not be broke.
Opinions are opinions.
I don’t care about yours and you don’t care about mine – That is the best way to go about our differences.
If I started saying “Ew, why do you like this music. All it is, is auto-tune and some studio effects to make this pre-pubescent fucktard sound half decent”, people wouldn’t react so nicely.

If it were a genuine question, I could live with that, e.g: “What do you like about this music?”
Otherwise, don’t question someones opinion. It just is.

Humans

August 27, 2010

Humanity is one of my oldest and strongest hatreds. Everything about humans disgusts me.
To better understand my hate for humanity, you must first understand how i see them.

Cancer; any malignant growth or tumor caused by abnormal and uncontrolled cell division; it may spread to other parts of the body through the lymphatic system or the blood stream” – I see humans as a cancer to the Earth.

The Earth has existed for something like 4.5 billion years and Homosapiens (the worst of the human race), only 250,000.
Yet, in these 250,000 years, we’ve managed to nearly deplete all of our natural resources, destroy the atmosphere, fuck with natural selection, cause animals to go extinct, melt ice-caps and so much more.

We started our cancerous reign like any other malignant disease, on the surface. Deforestation and massive-scale urbanisation caused the perfectly weighted balance of C0intake and Oxygen output to tip.

After we did our damage on the surface, we drilled deeper.
We dug holes and filled them with our shit. We filled it with the one-time-use waste that we took from the Earth to begin with. Only, we, being the innovative race we are, made sure that these one-time-use products were just that. After we had discarded them, they would remain in the soil for hundreds of years to come.

We hadn’t yet drilled deep enough though. We dug deeper and deeper to salvage all the coal we could get our hands on. We didn’t bother to think ahead. Instead of starting to think of more efficient, safer ways to produce energy, we continued to burn coal by the tons, daily.

Spewing forth more C02 than the earth could handle. We didn’t really look into it that much back then, but now that we have realised it might cause us to suffer, we have started to ‘care’ about our carbon emissions.

I received a letter from the council saying “Pay us $100 and we will off-put your carbon footprint” – I couldn’t believe people would charge you money to ‘off-put your carbon footprint’ but then I realised there would be people willing to pay this money.
These are the people that started ‘caring’ about the environment when they found out it was dying.

It’s no better than leeching off your dying mother, coming to a realisation that when she dies, you will be homeless and then prolonging her life for as long as possible so that you can reap the benefits.

Quite frankly, it’s pathetic.
The human race is by far the most selfish, ignorant, stupid, arrogant and pathetic race to exist.

When people ask me if I care about the environment, I answer “No”, not because I don’t, but because I see global warming as Earths ‘chemo-therapy’.
It will hurt Earth a bit, but Earth can recover. Where-as humans, being the weak race we are, will simply die out. Unfortunately, like with real chemo-therapy, the good things die too.

It is very likely that the vast majority, if not all, of the animals will die. However, I still see it as a good thing. It allows for the Earth to start again with a clean slate.

I have accepted that I am a cancer to this planet and have accepted my role in destroying it, only to benefit it.

It’s a strange concept to most. It’s strange to the environmentalists because I am for the environment while I destroy it; and it’s strange to everyone else because they can’t grasp the concept of world-wide homicide via the destruction of something that I like.

But it’s simple.
It’s like killing by proxy. I am killing everyone by killing the Earth.
Disagree if you will, but I don’t really care. Because you’re wrong.